Panic starts and subsides. Fear is a useless option...

This is a short piece of writing describing my return to meditation following my diagnosis of cancer in August 2011. It was written about a week ago between my seventh and eighth round of chemotherapy, as “chemo brain” really started to kick in…

I feel the panicking as my breath parts company in the tunnels of my body.

It is at once as subtle as the hour passing, but with no chance ever to return.

It is hope, as love and hope, as the diaphragm rises and falls. It just gives me hope, as the wonder of inhalation and exhalation continues without any interruption.

I find it difficult, as I want to take over.

I want it all to work automatically, but I have to lay my head to rest in hope and love.

I have the perseverance as the ups and downs of my breath bring me comfort, as the minutes tick by.  Can I persevere, or can I not?

Yet the effort puts me in a universe of comfort. As the medications release me, I have the knowingness as I release myself from the FEAR. The instructions are clear about FEAR now. I have love and hope now.

As the heartstrings of my lover restabilise me. I can have the moments as they are built up easily. And it is so wonderful to find that the moments are a holy string of beads that are once more strung and drawn together in tenderness and peace, as my universe wakes me again and it all starts to make sense…AGAIN…

Today leaves all FEARS behind

I've shut the door on yesterday

And thrown the key away.
 

Tomorrow holds no fears for me,
 

Since I have found today.


--Vivian Yeiser Laramore

It's a very long time since I posted here

But I've found the key to breath more valuable than ever... as I start doing two or so hours of meditation a day, as part of my cancer recovery programme...
Really glad to be back!!!!

Back in the saddle again!

Reading the Science of Breath again... quite refreshing!

Above all, keep breathing :)

Breath knows no reason

"The reasonable man encounters circumstances and adapts himself to them. The unreasonable man persists in trying to adapt circumstances to himself. All progress depends upon the unreasonable man."

- George Bernard Shaw

Still breathing in 2010 under a glorious Blue Moon

When I was 18 I never thought I would make it to 30. Now that I'm 60 in 16 days, I am more amazed than ever at how great life is...

Just thinking about breathing taps the gratitude reflex; it really makes me realise and understand how much is always being done for me; and how giving the universe is.

2010 is going to be a very special year. It got off to a great start with a Blue Moon and Lunar Eclipse on New Year's Eve.

My picture of the Full Moon is taken from outside our house looking North across the River Thames.

One breath at a time....

That's how life comes and goes... Glad to be back on the blog after quite a while...

I Ching Astrology

Check out this site that I have developed with Jon Sandifer. I Ching Astrology is the most ancient of all astrological systems.